The Ugly Truth...

Hope is the little voice you hear whisper "maybe" when the whole world is shouting "No"....

This post isn't going to cute or nice and it may piss some people off... but it's real and it's what we are going through and we need a voice right now..

I can't stress enough the importance of getting yourself a GOOD LAWYER when going through a divorce! MEN, this is for you!! See, my Husband has a good heart. The kind of heart that trusts people and always finds the good in others and he trusted his Ex and thought that they would get a divorce and things would be fair without lawyers.... Boy was he wrong! Not only did he get screwed but he got completely blindsided! You see they each filled out a child support worksheet and parenting plan and he signed his and gave it to her to sign and file and she went and took his out and replaced it with hers and just took the last page he signed and when he got his final Divorce Decree in the mail it was NOT what he had signed and because he had no lawyer he didn't fill out his child support worksheet right and he is paying 10 times what the average man is paying. (like most of you would vomit if you knew the amount he is paying her each month) I'm sorry, but when you get divorced... YOUR LIFE IS AND HAS TO CHANGE!! You can no longer expect to live the lifestyle you did while married and it isn't fair for a judge to just decide what someone should pay another person WITHOUT really listening and seeing what is really going on. The power should not be placed into a woman's UNGRATEFUL hands who just sits back and collects checks. My husband was ORDERED to pay $2824.00 each month in child support. DID ANYONE JUST FAINT?? Because I want to scream every time he presses send on the transfer button to her. AND on top of that he was ordered to pay her mortgage payment of $1900.00 in lieu of Alimony until the house is sold and then he would have to pay $1500.00 a month in Alimony for 5 years!!!!!( In the state of Georgia you are required to pay alimony 1 year for every 5 years you were married) He should only have to pay or 2 years! Why it is 5 is beyond me!!!!! You see, he had no idea he could take deviations for how much time he spends with the children, how much we feed the kids each month(We feed them half the month), how much we pay in medical and dental. (We pay 100% of all medical and dental) In fact she sends the kids to the car with bills in hand to give to us! How sweet, right??  He had no idea!! SO how is that fair? A judge sits there and sees that this man sees his kids every other day and every other weekend and takes them on breaks and in the summer and NEVER misses a day and then go and slap him with a court order to pay so much he can't even pay his own bills. Why should a good father be punished like that? If you see a man who is trying his best and wants to do the right thing.. Make it fair. Let him see some of his HARD EARNED MONEY. Let him see it isn't all in vain and that he can enjoy his life too! My husbands quality of life right now is so sad.. We are newlyweds dealing with all this shit!! It's too much and it isn't fair!!!!!

This is where we are now... We are back in litigation trying to make someone see we can't afford this amount. Trying to make someone hear our case, trying to make someone hear that if something isn't changed two families will be homeless, TRYING TO GET A JUDGE TO TREAT US FAIRLY AND REALLY LISTEN TO OUR PLEAS!!!  The power the government gives these women is absurd and dangerous. It is going to completely ruin our family. Our credit is shot. We will probably have to rent forever. Because his name is tied to the house she is living in. Our whole future is in the balance here! and that is okay for some people? How can these judges sleep at night? This is not a DEADBEAT DAD over here!! This isn't a pants-sagging, no job having guy!!! This is man who works his ass off to provide for two households and doesn't get to see any of his earnings!!  It makes him not even want to work! The man can't even go out and buy a new shirt or anything and HE SHOULD BE ABLE TOO! He works around the clock just to WATCH all his money go to someone who is CO-HABITATING in a house that is in his name and that he pays for and she doesn't have to work?? I'm sorry this may sound harsh as hell but I'm pissed and fed up! She chose to have 4 kids and she needs to HELP pay for them too! It should not all fall on the Fathers shoulders! He has done above and beyond what most fathers do! ANd the sad thing is... HE WANTS TO DO IT!!  He just can't do as much as they are saying he has to!!  WE need help!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't make this good man who is there for his kids and trying his damndest to pay...run from his obligations cause that is what our court systems are doing. IT's so beyond unfair it's sick!! We just want to be able to survive, to pay our bills and not have to worry. THAT IS ALL!!  Make it fair!!!
He has a good job and makes a dang good living but we see NONE of it!! How is that fair. My husband feels like a slave.. like he is in prison! That is not how it should be.

And to top all that off... While we were waiting for a court date to try and get the amount reduced we got served papers last Friday... She filed a contempt order on him because we are behind on some payments because we are at the end of our rope and can no longer afford anything. We are trying to catch up on our bills before things get shut off and we no longer have a home for the kids to come to. Does she realize how serious a contempt order is? He could go to jail!! How will that help either of us??  Then she really won't get any money! The sad thing is my husband thinks jail sounds like a vacation at this point!!  REALLY???? Someone please hear our case!!! And she asked for his check to be garnished like he is a low down piece running from his obligations!!  She asked for his check to be garnished for the full child support amount and the mortgage amount!! If that were to happen we would be left with not even enough money to pay our rent! HOW IS THAT FAIR???? SOMEONE PLEASE  TELL ME!!!!!!!!

I am a divorcee and have been a single mom and one who has been completely screwed over money wise and everything else and you don't see me acting like this...I picked myself up and worked and did what I had to do with a wonderful family to help me along the way... and so for me to be completely pro- Fathers rights has got to tell you something! It isn't fair! Don't enable these women to sit back and not have to work or help out with the kids they chose to have! It isn't right! Don't make it impossible for ANY OF US TO SURVIVE!! If she wins and gets this.. We will no longer be able to afford to even have the kids come over. we will no longer be able to afford to even feed a family of 8 when they do come over. She doesnt get that by filing this and hurting us more only hurts her and kids even more. She is going to push us to do things we don't want to do but will have no other choice but to do them if we get pushed into a corner for too long...  This isn't fun and games.. This is our life! Something has to change...

We do have each other and are so grateful for that. We are trying to remain hopeful that things will work out for all of us. We don't want to see her suffer in any way.. We aren't mean people, we have begged and pleaded with her to work something out with us that is fair but why would she when she was ordered an insane amount...Why would she accept less now?.. She doesn't care about our situation and how it might affect her and the kids, she doesn't care about us period... SO we are left with having no option but to go to court and fight with everything we have... We didn't want it to get ugly but there is just no other option right now... It's not in either of our natures to be like this and it's taking a toll on us... We just really want to be able to survive and live our life... Court is now set for December 6, 2012... There goes our Holidays..

More to come on this..

Father's Day 2012

 FATHERS DAY 2012

All the kids lined up and presented their gifts to the Papa! It was so cute. I couldn't ask for a better father for our kids. He is such a great provider and he so sweet and loving to each one. He is patient and listens to them and I know he would do anything for them. He is also such a fun dad, he teases and plays around with them. I really got so lucky with him. He took on my boys as his own and is such a blessing in our lives.  As stressful as it is with all these kids, Im so grateful I have him to keep me calm and help me so much. We sure love our Dad!! :)

Summer 2012

 We think we are so funny.. and we are! ;)

 Spent many days waiting on Xav in his reading class this summer..

 Caught this sweet, quiet moment.. I love when they get a long.. :)

 Kid pile... wingnuts I tell ya..

 My sidekick while running errands...

 Getting ready for bed..

 Um.. look at all the shoes! Really?...

 We spent lots of time at the pool.. all our kids are fish!

 The swarm us when we get in.. lol..

Summer 2012

Summer we spent most of our days at the pool.. It was a life-saver for me. It got the kids out of the house and gave me a little peace and quiet time.. :)

Visitors and other Bits...

 We had our first visitors.. Uncle Jake and Aunt Kim. It was SO good to see them and take them around and show them all our favorite places.

 The sunsets have been so beautiful and colorful.. Sunset is my favorite part of the day..

 I have been cooking and baking like crazy.. These little strawberry pastries were to die for!! Yum!

 See? Yum!! :)

 My little sidekicks... Aiden and Tayva..

 A typical lunch at our house.. We need a bigger table.. :/

 Date night! I live for these!! I love to dressed up and go out! Since I stay home now, I don't get to wear my heels much...

 I officially became a Smith this summer..

 Out running errands..

 The boys got the royal treatment at Sports Clips and they thought they were pretty cool..

 Our little munk.. she pretends she is a chipmunk and squeaks and even made a makeshift tail.. :)

 Swimming boys...

and this man doing what he does... Working too hard!

Summer 2012

Bits of everything..

 My littles as I call them.. These are the youngest of the bunch.. Tayva is 5, Aiden is 7 and Caleb is 8..

The boys playing a little football with Dad..

 Running errands with the babies..

 We went swimming almost every weekend during the summer! It was too hot for anything else.

 We went to a little event where they had food and face painting... all the kids got their faces painted expect...  you guessed it, Justin. :)

 Aiden got a Tiger..

 Cameron got a shark..

 Xavy got his Army camo on...

 Caleb as a Tiger..

 It was fun but SOO HOT that day... By the end we were all ready to go home and cool off..

 Flowers were blooming and let me tell you.. The south has some of the craziest storms! Thunder so loud you think your house will blow up! It's crazy, yall!

 Aiden lost so many teeth.. and they are taking forever to grow back.. Don't you love his toothless grin?

And we have lots of tortured loves.. Ping's way of showing love is by pinching, holding, squeezing and torturing the kiddies.. Good thing they are used to it now! Look at Aiden's face! lol.. Poor guy! :)

May 2012

The 1st encounter-Tayva's Preschool Graduation..

 The kids eating dinner at Cameron's football practice before we head off to Tayva's Preschool Graduation..

 Watching our girl sing her songs and getting her diploma..

 The Graduate with her bouquet of Blow Pop's..

 Pictures with Daddy and all her brothers..

We get the kids every Tuesday and Thursday night and Tayva's Graduation happen to fall on one of those days.. So we got ready and picked up the kids and ran through McDonalds and went over to Cameron's football practice to eat. We then headed over to Tayva's school for her graduation. I was filled with anxiety.. You see this would be my first encounter with the EX (aka the kids mom) WARNING: This Blog is about to get very REAL! I had in my head how it would go....I would walk up to her and introduce myself to her and she would want to meet the person who cares for her kids, feeds her kids and drives her kids around and gives her weekly breaks..(Keep in mind I don't get those breaks ever).. I would if I was in her position and have done it in the past with my Ex's girlfriends. I come from a divorced family where everyone gets along and all my parents go to events and even get together on some occasions. That is what I'm used to and that is what I want for our family. I want the kids to feel like they don't have to take sides and can see ALL their parents get along and come together for their functions.... BUT BOY WAS I DEAD WRONG! After the graduation we went out to where the kids were and I noticed she was with Tayva taking pictures so we respected her time with her and when she was done we got our pictures and then came the moment... I saw an opportunity and we made eye contact and I started to walk over and had my hand out and she turned and walked away and even did a little shimy of some sort while walking away.. and that was that! The first snub of many more to come. I understand some people are different but I'm really having such a hard time with this because it is not in my nature at all to be mean or unkind to people. especially people I'm going to have to deal with for the rest of my life. I feel like if she would just give me a chance she would see who I really am. I guess all I can do is be the best wife and mother I can be and maybe one day things will get better. This is all so new to me, being a step mom or bonus mom as I like to call it and dealing with an ex.. It's hard... I just need to keep being myself and remember that not everyone in life will like me no matter how hard I try.. That second one is hard for me..

May 2012